THE IMPORTANCE OF SPENDING TIME ON YOUR OWN

I think people often associate spending time on your own as a negative thing, or that you're a loner/have minimal friends. I mean, that may be the case but what's the problem there anyway? I find spending time on my own to be a great place to clear your head and look after yourself. Don't get me wrong, sometimes if I spend too much time in my own company, I crave human interaction and spending time with good people can keep you sane. But i'm not focussing on that on this post, I'm focussing on spending time by yourself.

I think that spending time alone, you learn more about yourself, how you think and what you want to do with your time. It's important to know yourself properly before anyone else does. Go for a coffee by yourself, go shopping by yourself, go for a walk by yourself. All of these things allow you to get to know yourself. Sometimes it can be difficult to actually pluck up the courage and confidence to go out by yourself. I often feel anxious before going out alone, anxious that people will judge you for being out alone or that you won't know what to do in your own company. 

I love going out for coffee by myself. Mostly because I just love going out for coffee, but also because I've learnt to enjoy sitting by myself, either people watching, reading or just staring into space and letting my mind wander. I find it so refreshing, and I usually feel so much better after doing it. I also love meeting friends for coffee and chatting for hours, so it's good to try and balance doing both. 

Also, I hate going shopping with other people (other than my mum). I like wandering around the shops, not feeling guilty for trying 16 items on in Zara, and then going back and trying on another 5. Stopping for a tea and a croissant, and then stopping again for a hot chocolate and sandwich 45 minutes later without someone saying "you're hungry again? Don't you want to wait a while?". Feeling rushed while shopping is the worst, shopping is therapy and having the wrong company while shopping is just stressful. 

I'm not saying that spending time on your own is more important than spending time with others, but you need to find that balance. Spending time with friends and family keep you grounded and happy, and seeing those people regularly is so important. However I also think making time for yourself and spending time on your own is just as important. 

AMSTERDAM: BEGINNERS TRAVEL GUIDE AND WHAT TO WEAR

Last weekend, I got the chance to visit Amsterdam for 3 days. I'd never been before so I had no idea what to expect. I'd heard a lot of different things about it, but could never quite envision what it'd be like.

We stayed in a wonderful little air bnb in one of those gorgeous town houses on a canal, about a 5 minute walk from Rembrand Square or a 15 minute walk from the city centre. It was the perfect place for while we were there.. a huge bed, coffee machine, a wet room and netflix (perfect). 

As soon as we arrived at Amsterdam at Central Station, we were both in need of some caffeine so we stopped off at Stock, a cute little coffee shop only a 2 minute walk from the station. They had delicious coffee, cakes and sandwiches. As soon as we arrived it was obvious to tell the most efficient way to get around was by bike, or tram. I literally had no idea how to cross the road without being trampled. 

To travel, I wanted to be comfy so I wore a thin knit cream jumper from H&M, Khaki military trousers from H&M, ASOS belt, slip on Vans and a cord puffer jacket from Urban Outfitters. I've also rediscovered my M&S red fur shoulder bag, I got it for Christmas a couple of years ago and completely forgot I had it. 

We went to the Moco Museum on Monday, a Banksy and Roy Lichtenstein exhibition was on which we pre booked online and it was actually really interesting. The museum itself was so pretty and it amazing to see some of their work in real life. The Moco Museum was really easy to get to, it was about a 10 minute walk from where we where staying, right next to the Van Gogh museum. After that, we got the tram into Dam Square and went to the Sex Museum. It was so dated and hilarious, but I'd say it's worth visiting for a laugh. Or even just to get that typical picture with the massive penis. 

We also did a lot of shopping whilst we were there, the shopping just seemed so much better than London. It was probably because I couldn't really buy anything as I only had a small hand luggage suitcase. Whilst we were there I did pick up a dark grey beret in Topshop, I was looking for one for a while, I didn't know if it would suit me but as soon as I tried it on I knew i'd be wearing it a lot this winter. It was bloody freezing while we were there as well, so it did keep that extra bit warmer. 

I wore my new beret with a t-shirt I picked up from Weekday that says 'emotional' on the front in red letters. I thought it was very apt as I cry at most things. I paired it with some vintage kick flares, my slips on vans and my lovely new Urban Outfitters jacket (which I'm completely besotted with by the way). 

That evening we had a delicious meal at Cao. If you're into steak and generally good food then this is a must. It was probably the best steak i've ever eaten and the cocktails were also pretty impressive.. 

We also explored the area of Jordaan, the old working class district. It was so cute, with little vintage boutique, coffee shops and bars. We found the most incredible chocolate shop called Urban Cacao which is a must visit. The most delicious chocolate, and you can try each on before you buy. Incredible. 

Later that evening we had a lovely italian meal and headed into the Red Light District. It was a very odd experience and to be honest, I didn't really know how to feel about it. I'd still 100% recommend going to check it out and experience it for yourself. We finished the evening with a drink in 'Freddy's', one of the recommendations when you google 'cocktail bars near me' and the cocktails looks v inviting. It was a gorgeous, art deco vibe bar but unfortunately the cocktails were about €25 each, so I stuck to a small glass of wine. Lol.

On our last day, we started with an amazing brunch at Blue Amsterdam. You get an amazing panoramic view of the city, I highly recommend. The food was so tasty, not a huge breakfast menu but the lunch choices were great. We also decided to try out a boat tour, going around the canals and learning about Amsterdam which we both really enjoyed. 

Overall, I completely fell in love with the city and cannot wait to go back. It felt so chilled and relaxed (for obvious reasons) and it was amazing to go in November when it was starting to feel Christmassy. Also, don't forget to try Chocomel. 

DEALING WITH YOUR INNER SELF SABOTAGE & DIGITAL DETOXING

Happy October! I'm still completely baffled by the fact that it's already Autumn and I feel like time is going at a ridiculous pace and I'm struggling to keep up. The dark mornings and evenings are basically here and that's when I start to struggle. It's pretty depressing waking up to darkness and leaving work in darkness, it makes you feel like you have zero time and the only thing you can do is retreat to your bed with a hot chocolate and fluffy socks.

Self Sabotage is something we definitely all struggle with. Why is it we constantly beat ourselves up over any tiny thing we do? If it's being shit in social situations or not putting an outfit together as nicely as that girl on Instagram. It could be that your friend earns more money than you, or the fact you told yourself you'd be healthy so you spend a ridiculous amount of money on 'chia seeds' and 'maca powder' however you still seem to be having nutella on toast for breakfast. You get the picture. 

Everyone has their own struggles, and everyone is fighting their own demons. But why is it we don't allow ourselves to feel amazing about ourselves, or having just as many things you love about yourself as you hate about yourself. I think we all need a little slap in the face when it comes to self sabotage. You can get so consumed and it becomes the only thing you believe. Our minds know exactly how to bring us down and exactly how to destroy our confidence. It's like when I look in the mirror and feel good, but then I focus on that tiny spot on my chin and convince myself that is what everyone will be looking at, but in reality most people are too consumed in themselves to notice the small things in other people. 

You can force yourself into a negative routine. Getting up for work everyday at 6:30am, feeling shit about yourself, trying to make yourself look presentable, and when the weekend rolls round get ridiculously drunk spend too much money, and then feel like crap for the following week .. (not that I'm speaking from experience). I'm not saying that is necessarily a bad thing, because if you're surrounded by good people while doing this, then it's better because you all get through it together. However what I am saying is that, in a way doing that is a form of self sabotage because you know in the long run it will make you feel worse. 

Looking after yourself is important, mentally and physically. Whether that be making sure you're in bed before 11pm, or not allowing yourself to go on social media after 9pm. That then leads me onto thinking about digital detoxing. I'm pretty sure looking at my Instagram feed and how amazing other peoples lives are as soon as I go to bed and as soon as I wake up is not healthy. Instagram is great and I spend a huge amount of time on it, but it's so easy to remember that it's just a platform for people to show the best snapshots of their life. It's not reality. In a way, it's another form of self sabotage and it encourages that inner self critic. Scrolling through your feed to see another toned, tanned poreless girl on holiday in Bali when I'm hobbling into the office on a rainy Monday morning doesn't make me feel too fab.. 

More recently, before bed I've been trying to read for at least half an hour instead of staring at my phone screen. I actually love reading and always talk about trying to make more time for it, and so far it's been really helping. I feel a lot more relaxed and chilled before sleeping. Also, not to sound too much like a dick, I've been attempting to meditate before bed. The app Headspace is amazing, and I've actually felt a difference to my mood. I either do it right before bed, or in the morning and it makes me feel at ease, and I can feel the stress leave my body. Also, it's great for when you're feeling anxious. 

I've also decided to unfollow some of the people on my Instagram that make me feel shit about myself. The models, 'instagram girls' and body inspiration pages that are unrealistic for me. Obviously I still follow people that lead incredible lives because it's good to see that and have something you may want to work towards. But realistically, when I'm scrolling through Instagram I want to see delicious food, amazing places around the world that I want to visit, outfits people have put together etc etc.

There's nothing wrong with being selfish (not all the time, though) and looking after yourself. Self sabotage affects everyone at some point I'm pretty sure, and finding ways to deal with it can be hard. But slowly, I feel like I'm starting to make some sort of head way with it. 

JUMPSUIT - ZARA

BOOTS - ASOS

BAG - ZARA

JACKET - VINTAGE LEVIS