THE IMPORTANCE OF SELF CARE

A lot of people talk about ‘self-care’ these days.. but what does it actually mean? Does it mean you have to spend £20 on a bath oil, £40 on yoga classes and £70 on a medium sized candle? I hope not..

A lot of brands have jumped onto the self-care wagon and try to force the idea of spending huge amounts of money on luxury items to be able to relax and de-stress. However, there are alternative ways to relax and look after yourself without going with the trend and spending all of your salary in the process.

Self-care definition: Self care is care provided “for you, by you.” It's about identifying your own needs and taking steps to meet them. It is taking the time to do some of the activities that nurture you. Self care is about taking proper care of yourself and treating yourself as kindly as you treat others. What are the steps we need to take to actually achieve this? Below I’ve listed a few things that I do that make me happy, that may work for you as well..

1.       Reading

For me, reading a really good book is an amazing way to destress your mind and stop worrying about all the little things. Sometimes it can take ages to find a book you really love, but once you find one there is nothing better. Reading before bed instead is scrolling through social media completely eases my mind and I don’t go to bed feeling aggy.

2.       Podcasts

Podcasts are still a reasonably new discovery for me. Ever since I started working full time and sitting at a desk all day, Podcasts have been helping me through each day. I now listen to so many it’s difficult to keep up. I listen to Podcasts that make me laugh out loud, that make me cry (happy & sad tears), inspire me, and make me work harder. My favourites ever are: Jules and Sarah The Podcast, Glamour Hey it’s OK, My Dad Wrote a Porno, The Debrief Podcast, The High Low, When Life Gives You Melons, Serial, The Heart of It and How To Curate Your Life. They are amazing to listen to on your commute to work, so do check them out!

3.       Baths

If you know me well, you will know how obsessed I am with baths. In my eyes there is nothing better after a long shit day of staring at a computer screen, than running a warm bubbly bath, making a hot drink and just laying there with your eyes closed trying to ignore the fact it’s only Tuesday and you still have 3 days left of the week.

4.       Spooning

Is there anything much better than Spooning? No, there isn’t. It is wonderful. It instantly makes me feel better, sometimes maybe even a bit emosh if I’m feeling particularly low (lol). If you don’t have anyone to spoon then I’m v sorry, but surely you can find someone to spoon? Your dog?

5.       Playing loud music in the car

When I’m feeling particularly pissed off, which is more often than not, I play a great sing along song really loudly in the car and passionately sing along with it. It honestly lifts my mood and makes me slightly less of a moody bitch. Some particularly great songs to put on are: Daniel Bedingfield – If You’re Not The One, Bruno Mars – Chunky, Hoobastank – The Reason, Kate Nash – Foundations, and Wham! - Everything She Wants. 

6.       Walking

I’m not actually often in the mood to go for a walk, it always just seems a bit too much effort and I’d rather chill at home. However, I never regret going. I always feel refreshed and my mind feels a bit clearer. The only time I can really go for a walk is on the weekends, as during the week I don't get home till around 6:30pm. But sometimes on a Sunday afternoon, I'll join my family on a dog walk to the woods and it's always so pretty.

7.       Talking

When I say talking, I mean talking to people who really care about you, not just talking aloud (even though that’s pretty therapeutic as well..). Sometimes, you just need to talk to someone about what is running through your mind. If it’s as small as someone else used your coffee mug at work or that your battling with severe anxiety, talking to people you care about and vice versa is really important, I find anyway. They don’t need to offer any advice, they just need to listen and say ‘mmm’ occasionally.

 8. Meditating 

I don't want to be one of those typical people that tries to tell you that meditating will solve all your problems, because it won't, but it will definitely help you feel calmer. After downloading the app Headspace, I've been using it to meditate for about 3-5 minutes a night (when I remember and can be bothered, lets be realistic). All I do is lie down on my bed in the pitch black and pop on the app and listen to the calm voice telling me to focus on my breathing, and focus my thoughts on particular things. As soon as it's finished, I put my phone on my bedside table and I'm so sleepy I drift off almost instantly. Wonderful. 

There are so many other different methods of self care, and you need to find the ideal options that suit you. Ever since being in my twenties is when I realised the importance of looking after not only your physical health, but your mental health. Learning to put yourself first is hard, especially when it doesn't come naturally. 

If anyone else has any other forms of self care, then please do let me know.
x

THE BEST SEASON FOR STYLING

Autumnal, winter clothing is my absolute favourite. I love layering clothing and the autumnal 'transitional' period is the best time to do so. The weather is still reasonably warm for November (sorry for talking about the weather AND being that person that says 'how is it November already?!').. I love layering three or four layers of clothing because you can add so many different colours, shapes and textures. 

However that being said, sometimes it's a struggle to know what to layer with what without looking a bit OTT. Your favourite flowy, summer dress could be layered with a roll neck and boots.. or a denim skirt with a big oversized knit and sock boots instead of sandals and a cami top? It's all about looking in your wardrobe and experimenting with different pieces and seeing what works for you. 

I mostly wore these Asos Culotte Dungarees in the summer with a t-shirt and trainers, but it actually works great with a chunky jumper and my favourite Missguided Fluffy Cardigan over the top, with my trusty converse. This outfit was perfect on a chilly October afternoon, it kept me cosy but I also didn't get too hot. 

It's so easy to fall into the routine of jeans, a jumper and trainers when the weather gets cold, however I want to keep experimenting and making an effort with my Autumn Winter outfits.

Some of my absolute go tos for Autumn/Winter pieces have to be Zara, H&M  and & Other Stories (which can be a bit pricier, but their stuff is AMAZING). I always manage to find at least one item in each of these stores, which is not so fab for my bank balance..

Where is your favourite place to shop?

Cardigan - Missguided / Jumper - H&M / Dungarees - ASOS / Bag - M&S / Trainers - Converse 

DEALING WITH YOUR INNER SELF SABOTAGE & DIGITAL DETOXING

Happy October! I'm still completely baffled by the fact that it's already Autumn and I feel like time is going at a ridiculous pace and I'm struggling to keep up. The dark mornings and evenings are basically here and that's when I start to struggle. It's pretty depressing waking up to darkness and leaving work in darkness, it makes you feel like you have zero time and the only thing you can do is retreat to your bed with a hot chocolate and fluffy socks.

Self Sabotage is something we definitely all struggle with. Why is it we constantly beat ourselves up over any tiny thing we do? If it's being shit in social situations or not putting an outfit together as nicely as that girl on Instagram. It could be that your friend earns more money than you, or the fact you told yourself you'd be healthy so you spend a ridiculous amount of money on 'chia seeds' and 'maca powder' however you still seem to be having nutella on toast for breakfast. You get the picture. 

Everyone has their own struggles, and everyone is fighting their own demons. But why is it we don't allow ourselves to feel amazing about ourselves, or having just as many things you love about yourself as you hate about yourself. I think we all need a little slap in the face when it comes to self sabotage. You can get so consumed and it becomes the only thing you believe. Our minds know exactly how to bring us down and exactly how to destroy our confidence. It's like when I look in the mirror and feel good, but then I focus on that tiny spot on my chin and convince myself that is what everyone will be looking at, but in reality most people are too consumed in themselves to notice the small things in other people. 

You can force yourself into a negative routine. Getting up for work everyday at 6:30am, feeling shit about yourself, trying to make yourself look presentable, and when the weekend rolls round get ridiculously drunk spend too much money, and then feel like crap for the following week .. (not that I'm speaking from experience). I'm not saying that is necessarily a bad thing, because if you're surrounded by good people while doing this, then it's better because you all get through it together. However what I am saying is that, in a way doing that is a form of self sabotage because you know in the long run it will make you feel worse. 

Looking after yourself is important, mentally and physically. Whether that be making sure you're in bed before 11pm, or not allowing yourself to go on social media after 9pm. That then leads me onto thinking about digital detoxing. I'm pretty sure looking at my Instagram feed and how amazing other peoples lives are as soon as I go to bed and as soon as I wake up is not healthy. Instagram is great and I spend a huge amount of time on it, but it's so easy to remember that it's just a platform for people to show the best snapshots of their life. It's not reality. In a way, it's another form of self sabotage and it encourages that inner self critic. Scrolling through your feed to see another toned, tanned poreless girl on holiday in Bali when I'm hobbling into the office on a rainy Monday morning doesn't make me feel too fab.. 

More recently, before bed I've been trying to read for at least half an hour instead of staring at my phone screen. I actually love reading and always talk about trying to make more time for it, and so far it's been really helping. I feel a lot more relaxed and chilled before sleeping. Also, not to sound too much like a dick, I've been attempting to meditate before bed. The app Headspace is amazing, and I've actually felt a difference to my mood. I either do it right before bed, or in the morning and it makes me feel at ease, and I can feel the stress leave my body. Also, it's great for when you're feeling anxious. 

I've also decided to unfollow some of the people on my Instagram that make me feel shit about myself. The models, 'instagram girls' and body inspiration pages that are unrealistic for me. Obviously I still follow people that lead incredible lives because it's good to see that and have something you may want to work towards. But realistically, when I'm scrolling through Instagram I want to see delicious food, amazing places around the world that I want to visit, outfits people have put together etc etc.

There's nothing wrong with being selfish (not all the time, though) and looking after yourself. Self sabotage affects everyone at some point I'm pretty sure, and finding ways to deal with it can be hard. But slowly, I feel like I'm starting to make some sort of head way with it. 

JUMPSUIT - ZARA

BOOTS - ASOS

BAG - ZARA

JACKET - VINTAGE LEVIS